The Sugarcoating Stops Now

For as long as there has been an internet, I have censored myself while using it. Maybe it's something about the disconnected feel of this media. Maybe it's some unconscious attempt to counteract those who don't seem to realize the internet is a public forum. Maybe I just have issues. We may never know.

I'm always honest, in real life and on the internet. People don't exactly love that about me. Too much of a good things and all that. The difference is, in the real world, I open my mouth and you get my non-filtered opinion. Here on the internet, you get a watered down version. Some sickly sweet mixture of the truth and pretty words to make it sound nicer, less offensive.

Here's the deal. I hate that about myself. For some reason, I have this need to want all of the people to like me all of the time. On the internet. Not so much in real life. I was a people pleaser until well into my 20s, when I decided life was way too short to live according to others rules. Yet, my personality is much duller here on the blog, on Twitter, on Facebook, etc. I think it may have something to do with being afraid things will be taken wrong because you can't actually hear the way I'm saying things. Which is strange, because in real life, if you hear the way I'm saying things and take it the right way, there's a good chance you may not like it anyway.

This has been bugging me for a while, especially in relation to book blogging. Let's all be honest here - book blogging is not a job no matter how professionally you treat it. And I've tried to be as professional as possible. But why? I'm not here to make money, or get free books, or even interact with authors and the industry. I'm here to find like-mined people to discuss books with. How do you find like-minded people when you aren't even speaking your mind? This is just insanity.

I curse like a trucker in real life. Somehow my online persona is bad word free. I'm obscenely opinionated in real life. My online persona rarely takes a stand about anything. I can be bitchy. I can be catty. I can be downright rude. Not here though. And more than anything else, my real life revolves around drama. Drama is abundant in the book bogging community, but until very recently I have never said a word. And that drives me crazy.

I often say I love the community. And I do. But I neatly leave off the fact that I love the idea of the community and many people in it, but often times it sucks. A lot. Does it really matter who uses GFC and who doesn't? Or if you require followers for giveaways? Or if you choose to write negative reviews? Or that people care about their stats? And what is with the sly way people need to put each other down? The holier-than-thou attitude in the community it potent, but no one wants to rock the boat. I constantly want to scream "JUST MIND YOUR OWN BLOGS, PEOPLE" but I don't. Until now. I have no desire to start drama. I've got my own, thanks. But, this censorship has to stop.

I think what really set me off and made me realize what a different person I am online was about a month before BEA rolled around. Everyone who was going started getting invites to different after-events. I'm not going to lie, I got my own invites too. The difference is, I didn't feel the need to run to twitter and brag about how my inbox was "bursting" with invites. How is that cool? Do you really need to rub it in the faces of those bloggers who weren't invited to any? Because you did rub it in. And they felt bad directly because of what those who needed to brag said. I would expect this kind of behavior from newbies, but these were all established bloggers. Bloggers who'd been doing this for years. And I said nothing.

So, for the record, in the interest of being honest across the board, my opinions are as follows:

• I believe numbers matter, be they followers, stats, etc. If you want your voice to mean something, people have to be stopping by to listen.
• I always require you to follow to enter a giveaway I'm paying for. If you can't even pretend to be interest in what I have to say to win a prize, I don't have to give you free stuff. This is not a charity.
• I write negative reviews and I don't apologize for it. My opinion is my opinion. I am not the author's PR rep. I always try to attack the problem in the book and not the author but sometimes it can't be helped (Augusten Burroughs, I'm looking at you). I've sugarcoated some review in the past. They were honest, but I didn't want to be too harsh. In case you haven't noticed the shift yet, that stopped a while ago. If I hated it, I'll say I hated it - not that it could have been better or that it wasn't quite my thing. 
• I don't read self-published books because I think self-publishing is lazy and an easy way to circumvent the system. They don't call them vanity presses for nothing. If everyone turns you down, from the big houses to the tiny independent presses, perhaps your book just isn't very good. There, I said it. And this is a completely universal rule. I still won't read your self-published book even if you have been previously published by a big time publisher and are a fairly well-known name. No means no.

There are probably many more opinions that I haven't shared that have slipped my mind at the moment. My point is, I refuse to continue this farce. I love book blogging. I've met some of the very best people in the entire world because of book blogging. It's just time for the entire world to meet the real me. No more mincing words. No more softening the blow. No more pussyfooting around. Honest to a fault, just like real life.

Two people immediately come to mind when I think of bloggers who speak their mind completely without ever wavering. You always know you're getting the down and dirty truth from Donna from Bites and April from Good Books & Good Wine. They don't sugarcoat. They don't apologize for their opinions. They're sorta inspirational. If you value honesty and don't read them already, you need to check the out.

Do you censor yourself online? Is it crazy for say screw it and risk alienating people?