Friday, October 3, 2014

Halloweentown II: Kalabar's Revenge, Two Thousand Maniacs!, Evil Bong, Tales from the Darkside: The Movie, The Bad Seed, and Soultaker

October Horror Movie Challenge Day 3

Halloweentown II: Kalabar's Revenge (2001)

Why I Watched:
Rewatch
Can on the same DVD as Halloweentown

What I Learned:
These movies really, really aren't as good as I remember them being.
Surprisingly, this one is better than the first one though.

Rating:




Two Thousand Maniacs! (1964)

Why I Watched:
Herschell Gordon Lewis
Distributed by Something Weird Video
Revenge Movie
Released in the 1960s
Summer Themed (sorta)

What I Learned:
People will stay in a town for no reason just because the locals seem excited to see them.
The barrel trick actually surprised me.

Rating:



Evil Bong (2006)

Why I Watched:
Bill Moseley
Phil Fondacaro
Horror Comedy
Released in the 2000s

What I Learned:
As long as you're high and have strippers, you won't question anything.
Vitamins can get rid of your high.

Rating:

Tales From the Darkside: The Movie (1990)

Why I Watched:
Dick Smith
Anthology
Stephen King
Mummy

What I Learned:
So many celebrities.
 Not one really living up to their potential.

Rating:

The Bad Seed (1956)

Why I Watched:
Killer/Evil Child
Released in the 1950s

What I Learned:
That is not a boy on the DVD case.
Her braids are always perfect. Always. How?
Mom sucks at solving problems. Also at death.
End scene, funny spanking. Would never, ever fly today.

Rating:

Soultaker (1990)

Why I Watched:
Robert D'Zar
MST3K version

What I Learned:
It's really not as awful as the 2.2 IMDB rating would lead you to believe.
But it's not good either.
There are more Estevez/Sheen actors out there.
There is a reason most people don't know that.
At least a few laughs from the MST3K crew.

So many technical difficulties and still managed 6 films. Not bad.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

More Brains! A Return to the Living Dead, Dolly Dearest, They Came From Within, Puppet Master II, and Halloweentown

October Horror Movie Challenge Day 2

More Brains! A Return to the Living Dead (2011)

Why I Watched:
Documentary
Huge Love for Return of the Living Dead

What I Learned:
Even 25 years later, actors are still bitchy about each other.
Good lord, the drama.
I don't blame them for not liking that one girl, she's coming off as a total asshat.
No one even remotely looks like they did in the movie.
With the exception of the dudes that were already old in the movie.

Rating:

Dolly Dearest (1991)

Why I Watched:
Killer/Evil Doll
Released in the 1990s

What I Learned:
Don't buy a doll manufacturing place in Mexico sight unseen.
Apparently, you can die from a single cut between two fingers.
When dying the finger death, tearing your shirt open is a must.
Dolls are always creepy.
But Dolly is no Chucky.

Rating:

They Came From Within (1975)

Why I Watched:
Lynn Lowry
Barbara Steele
Released in the 1970s
Memorable bathroom scene

What I Learned:
Sex zombies can be extremely boring.
If made today, the sex zombies would all be hot and in their 20s.
Elderly sex zombies are super creepy.
The "sex" rarely gets past kissing.
It's not so much "sex zombies" as "attempted rape zombies."

Rating:

Puppet Master II (1998)

Why I Watched:
Nazi Puppet

What I Learned:
I want to like these Puppet Master movies way more than I actually do.
Her brother's dead. His mother's missing. Totally time to bang.

 Rating:
 Halloweentown (1998)

Why I Watched:
Rewatch
Made for TV Movie
Witchcraft

What I Learned:
That ended lamely.
I remember it being better than this.
All those kids end up growing up into their faces. Way to go them.

Rating:

A better day. Nothing horrible, but nothing that blew me away either.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

The Uninvited, The Company of Wolves and Unlucky Charms

October Horror Movie Challenge Day 1

The Uninvited (1944)

Why I Watched:
Criterion Collection
Ghosts/Haunting
Ray Milland
Based on a Novel
Released in the 1940s

What I Learned:
I'm not cut out for older, slow moving, black and white films.

Rating:

The Company of Wolves (1984)

Why I Watched:
Death by Decapitation
Werewolves
Released in the 1980s
Rated R

What I Learned:
Werewolf transformations can be disgusting
Decapitation effects can be awful
Angela Lansbury could have been bad ass, but wasn't

Rating:

Unlucky Charms (2013)

Why I Watched:
Carolyn Purdy-Gordon
Released in the 2010s
Unrated

What I Learned:
Reality shows are the new low budget horror go-to
Charlie O'Connell is no Jerry O'Connell
Cyclops are all about getting that sweet, sweet booty

Rating:

Not the best start to the challenge, but there are lots of movies to come.