Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Assholes Finish First by Tucker Max

Assholes Finish First by Tucker Max
2010, Gallery Books

Synopsis: What do you do when you've become rich and famous for writing a #1 best-selling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures? I'll tell you what I do: I write another fucking book.

This is that book. Assholes Finish First is hilarious in ways you will recognize from I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, and in other, newer ways you won't. Of course it has all the sex and debauchery you expect from my writing, but with a twist. You already know how I deal with women when I am poor and anonymous. You have no idea how I do it when I have money and fame.

It also answers the hard questions you've never thought of asking. What's it like to have sex with a midget? How about two of 'em? What happens when you eat too much beef jerky and then drink a gallon of vegetable juice? Or get head in an X-ray machine? The answers are inside, they are absurd, and they are the product of one man's experiences:

My name is still Tucker Max, and I am still an asshole.


The Good: Tucker Max has grown up. A little. Enough that he's sort of over constant random sex and debauchery. This is what makes Assholes Finish First readable. In his previous book, Max was a grating little boy enthralled with his own penis. At least in some of these stories, he's matured enough to realize the ridiculousness he perpetrates isn't always hilarious.

The Bad: Max is still a jerk. He continues to mock women, a large part of what made him famous in the first place. It's expected, but it's also sort of stupid. How many times can people read him ridiculing the naive and stupid? It's like he's stuck on repeat.

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