Friday, October 9, 2015

Area 407, Friday the 13th: A New Beginning, Friday the 13th VI: Jason Lives, Evil Toons, Don't Blink and Slither

October Horror Movie Challenge Day 9

Area 407 (2012)

Why I Watched:
Eyes of Death Theme Night

What I Learned:
  • Shaky found footage movies make me sort of nauseous
  • A new Year's countdown on a plane creeps me out for some reason.Like a countdown to the inevitable crash.
  • And puking. Awesome.
  • Plane crashes horribly and people actually need to be told, repeatedly, to get off the plane. 
  • Everyone is really concerned with food. They crashed like an hour ago. No one is starving.
  • Lots of running and screaming as the camera points down. It's like a super bloody episode of COPS.
  • Halfway through the movie and we still don't know what's happening or why. Just running. And bleeding. And in-fighting.
  • If they're hiding from a monster, why do they keep screaming at each other? Stealthy. Why haven't they been eaten yet?
  • Is it a dinosaur? A big lizard? Caused by nuclear experiments? Any type of answer would be nice.
  • Yes. Saw that ending coming. And no answers on top of it. Awesome.

Rating:

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)

Why I Watched:
Rewatch

What I Learned:
  • First sequel of the series that didn't start with a scene from an earlier movie
  • Since when do they bury serial killers in their masks?
  • Wish Corey Feldman came back as Tommy Jarvis. He would have nailed that line between insanity and absolute clarity
  • Of course, Corey Feldman was too young at the time, but a girl can dream. 
  • There are a lot of "on the toilet" scenes in this franchise.
  • There is a lot more cleaver and a lot less machete in this.
  • Chainsaws are not reliable weapons, despite what some movies may want you to believe

Rating:

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)

Why I Watched:
Rewatch

What I Learned:
  • I'm thinking, maybe we should stop opening Jason's grave.
  • Maggot head. The ultimate insult.
  • These girls and these boats. It's like they all refuse to learn.

Rating:
Evil Toons (1992)

What I Learned:
  • These girls are supposed to be a cleaning service and they are grossed out by everything. 
  • They worked for maybe 6 minutes and now they want to stop until tomorrow. 
  • They suck at this job in every possible way.
  • This seems to be a slutty, poorly acted take on Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Rating:

Don't Blink (2014)

What I Learned:
  • What were they going to do with a gun? People are disappearing into thin air. No bad guy.
  • What is wrong with you people? You're partners are missing so you have sex? That'll save them.
  • "I've read enough Stephen King to know..." Always good advice to follow.

Rating:

Slither (2006)

Why I Watched:
Rewatch

What I Learned:
  • Everyone should see this movie. Nathan Fillion. Michael Rooker. Elizabeth Banks. They're all so perfect.
  • "You're initials are BM. Like a piece of shit." This from a grown man. To the woman he's trying to have an affair with. 
  • X-Ray scene totally works here.
  • Mind-melding flashback sequence surprisingly effective.

Rating:

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