Sunday, October 4, 2015

Horror of Dracula, Don't Torture a Duckling, Friday the 13th, Friday the 13th Part 2 and Cannibal Holocaust

October Horror Movie Challenge Day 4

Horror of Dracula (1958)

Why I Watched:
Daily theme: Christopher Lee
Michael Carreras
Released in the 1950s

What I Learned:
  • Apparently, you aren't allowed to just go eat any guest you want in Dracula's house
  • You could kill Dracula, but instead chose to kill the bitch who bit you, thus alerting Dracula to the danger.
  • Surprise, he knows you're coming. And, duh.
  • Oh, garlic. I thought he said Dalek. I was super confused by the potential Dracula/Doctor Who crossover in the 50s.
  • Dead Aunt Lucy's in the woods in her nightgown and you join her because she wants to play? Stupid little girl.
  • Burn her with a cross, then just let her slowly prance away? Way to save the day.
  • Lucy's the worst vampire every. Under attack, she lies in an open coffin and takes a nap.
  • It's nearly dawn, so instead of killing vulnerable Lucy, let's leave her for a while for no reason whatsoever.
  • Lucy's dead, so we're just gonna just Mina as bait. You're cool with that, right?
  • Mina's bitten! How could that have happened with the foolproof plan of making her bait and not watching her at all?
  • I don't think I could take Dracula seriously if he was coming at me with There's Something About Mary hair.
  • Just looking at a cross makes Dracula turn to ash. That's new and lame.


Don't Torture a Duckling (1972)

Why I Watched:
Appears on BFI's 100 European Horror Films List
Released in the 1970s

What I Learned:
  • Naked woman encouraging a little boy to come towards her. Yeah, I'm not going to like this movie at all.
  • Ok, so the naked woman is evil. Things are starting to make sense.
  • Sneaking out to have sex with older, naked woman = strangulation. Take note, prepubescent boys.
  • Screaming "The killer is here, I know it." at a child's funeral is tacky and disrespectful.
  • They figured satan fathered the child. Oh, natural assumption. Really? That's a normal thought process in Italy?
  • A witch confesses, because voodoo dolls. I feel the charges aren't going to stick. 
  • Vigilante justice. Against the wrong person. Isn't that always the way?
  • What is with these women who fall to the ground in despair. Do people do this in real life?
  • Naked pedophile woman to the rescue. Not sure how I feel about that.
  • I have to kill the children. If I don't, they'll grow up to be dicks. -- That's one way of thinking


Friday the 13th (1980)

Why I Watched:
Irwin Keyes
Betsy Palmer
Three installments in a series
Rated X on release

What I Learned:
  • How nice it must have been to be trusting enough to take rides from strangers 
  • Murders, check. Drowning, check. Fires and bad water, never mentioned in the series again.
  • Kevin Bacon with his unruly early 80s hair.
  • "Just stay until Friday" - and that's the kiss of death right there.
  • Sure, take another ride from another stranger. Girl has a death wish. 
  • Not sure what she thought she would accomplish jumping out of a moving vehicle.
  • Nice speedo, Kevin Bacon.
  • "There's a snake in here." "Then why are we in here?" My type of girl.
  • Ohh, strip Monopoly. Sober, even.
  • Kevin Bacon, having the gentlest teenage sex ever.
  • Tiny bikini -> world's largest nightgown. 
  • Instead of piling another chair in front of the door, maybe you'd like to spend this time searching for a plan. 
  • They're preparing to open a summer camp in 2 weeks. Wearing bikinis. And no one questions the lady in the sweater.
  • If you've killed the killer, why go out into the middle of the lake?
Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)

Why I Watched:
Three installments in a series

What I Learned:
  • So this starts with pretty much the entire last 15 minutes of the last movie.
  • Damn, this really starts so slowly
  • Not trying to scare you, but let me tell you about Jason
  • D-bags were popping collars, even way back in 1981
  • What's up with the men's shoes POV? Keep seeing shoes walking. Like, why? 
  • Ohhh, a shantytown.
  • Who skinny dips alone? While looking for their lost dog? You ain't gonna find Muffin that way.
  • How does Jason know where everyone is at all times. It's like he's had them all chipped like puppies.
  • Jason trying to kill you, no problem. Rat sniffs you, pee yourself.

Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

Why I Watched:
Found Footage

What I Learned:
  • Prolonged male full frontal nudity. You just don't see that often outside porn.
  • Killing and eating people, I'm fine. Cutting up a turtle, I get all icked out.
  • What the hell is wrong with these people? They deserve to be eaten.


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